So, I bought a house. I love my home. But my personal relationships have suffered a horrible trauma along the way. I am trying to fall back into love but, it isn't looking good. I suppose I have had an eye opening event of some sort. I see most people as unattractive, selfish, and boring. Which is an exact reflection of myself. I am lucky that I can now channel my energy into the house, cleaning, yard work,or exercising to prolong the inevitable. I just don't think I can emotionally and financially do it right now. I'm not sure whats going on in my head/heart but a shift has happened. I'm waiting for some time to help clear the fog so I can make a clear decision on what my next move will be. I just hope I make the right choice.
::cheers::
I have also started a strict diet, and taking appetite suppressants which really do help. I'm hoping this will make me feel better about myself. I've been trying to determine my self worth, soul searching in a way. Which, has lead me feeling more empty than anything. I'm boring, haven't much skill, smarts or humor. I have lost the will to entertain. I no longer want to please everyone. I have lost all sexual urges and desires(Borderline identity crises is happening right now.). Yet again the more I ponder whats happening, the more confused I get. Let's just take it one day at a time. And Hope for the Best.
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